Working at the weight loss plan is really working for me. Well, for my diet at least. I am down a total of 58 lbs. and that is the first significant movement in the right direction for awhile.
The rest of it is going ok. I enjoy my clients for the most part and I am still feeling like I am helping and get some good feedback on what I am doing.
Thank you Shelly!
Today, while in a rather intimate moment with my Matt, we hear the dog bark…outside. I had forgotten that I let him out to go potty. It is raining and muddy out. FUCK!!! I had just cleaned the bathroom the day before and now I have to give the damn dog a bath. He made a huge mess of the bathroom, shaking fur everywhere.
Then, we went out to breakfast. We went to Le Peep where I always get the Dawn Breaker. I had looked up the calories and everything so I knew what I was getting into and felt like I was going to still stay on plan. OF COURSE. That item is no longer on the friggin menu. So I ordered something that was less than what I wanted. I hate that!!
Next, we ventured out to get a broiler pan. We went to Linens and Things because they are supposed to have all of that stuff. NOT. So then we had to go to Target. Target is always a zoo on Sundays so that just sucked.
Then we make it home in time to watch NC State play basketball. Now, I could care less, but Matt loves March Madness so I wanted him to be able to watch the game and enjoy it. Well, they didn’t show it on schedule and then kept breaking away to other games. NC State lost miserably, so that put Matt in a kind of sour mood.
We were looking forward to having a new recipe, beef tenderloin with wasabi slaw. The beef tenderloin cost $15.99 a pound so we set the table nicely with candles and everything to make it a special meal. The meat was rubbed with salt, wasabi powder and brown sugar and then the slaw had soy, rice vinegar and more wasabi powder. It sounded and smelled great. However, one bite put a look on Matt’s face that I never hope to see again. The meat was awful and the slaw, worse.
So now, we’re waiting for pizza and Matt went to buy “Serenity”. He came back, only to find out he had purchased the wrong version. OMG…
I can only hope the pizza is good….
Update: And, even more suckitude. I went upstairs to go to bed to find the dog had gotten into the Target bag containing my black hair dye box and had ripped open the box and punctured the dye tube with his tooth. So now there is a nice black stain on my brand new, expensive, bamboo sheets. Lovely.
Shelly took this of me and I have to thank her profusely for making me look so good.
So, it’s no secret that I haven’t been blogging, but life has been hellishly busy and this is the first moment I have really even felt like it.
I quit my job at the bank. “WHAAA?” you say? Well, I don’t know what the hell got into me, but I went to my first real day on the job and had panic attack after panic attack. I cried my whole lunch break and just felt like there was no way I could do this job. I made it through the day, walked over to the parking garage where I was hit in the head with the arm thingy, and then made my way to the door that led to my car. It was locked!!! So, because I couldn’t get in that way, I didn’t have the same reference point and therefore couldn’t find my car. Once I did finally find it after 10 minutes of wandering around, I promptly threw up and my head throbbed. Once I made it home, I was so miserable that I took 4 Advil and went to bed with a trashcan nearby.
All the next day, a day off thankfully, I agonized over quitting. I knew I couldn’t go back, but I needed to have the job and I had already invested a lot of time in training and a lot of money in shoes and clothes. After crying almost all day, I decided to give something a shot. I called my favorite counselor at LA Weight Loss and asked her what the possibility would be of me working there. She said I could come in the following day for an interview. I convinced Matt to let me quit the job at the bank and hoped upon hope that I would get the job at LAWL.
I went in and handed Jenny my resume and she looked it over briefly, made a phone call and offered me the job!!! I am now through training and am working at Jenny’s center as a weight loss counselor and loving it. I really, finally feel as if I actually make a difference and that people who sit with me feel like they are really getting something out of it.
Another great perk is that I get a great discount on supplements and all the other stuff they offer, so now I can afford to use some of the things I had been avoiding.
I also, now, have no excuse to not stick to my diet. I would feel like a total hypocrite telling people what they should do if I can’t do it myself.
Big sigh of relief!
I saw a bumper sticker that made me smile today.
“Lord, help me to be the person my dog sees me as.”
Amen!
I weighed in yesterday and was relieved to find that I had only gained 2 pounds. That’s totally ok by me, since I have not worked out or followed my diet in nearly three weeks.
Now, the challenge is to get back on track. So far, I haven’t had any motivation to do so, but I know I have to.
I hate to be typical, but I feel I am going to get back on track on Monday.
Ugh, I need help.
Maybe not really. But today it felt like I had aged beyond my years. I dropped my son off at school, went to the tailor, went home and organized some work stuff, went to the doctor and went to a hair appointment.
Do you think that was what Mrs. Cleaver did every day?
If so, shoot me now.
Things are not going so well with the diet. I guess if I were to consider all that I am going through with full time training and having to depart from the rigorous workout schedule, then, I’m not doing too awful.
The problem is that I was doing so well and being so successful that this stall in progress feels very much like failure.
I’m mostly writing this to place some perspective on the situation. The facts are that I am not totally on program, but most days this week I ate under 2000 calories a day. I did go to an hour of water aerobics twice this week. I didn’t stay as hydrated as usual and didn’t take my multivitamin but once.
If I look at this objectively, I would have to say, while, I am not doing nearly as well as I have in the past couple of months, I am still doing way better than I had prior to starting this diet, regardless of what the scale says.
I’d like to say that I would do better this week, but the reality is, that I probably won’t, since I am still training full time. I’m not sure how to make it any better so I am trying to assume that I just have to do the best I can even if that isn’t good enough.
Thursday, we had to go to a meeting with my son’s future principal, future kindegarten teacher and his current teacher to discuss an evaluation they had done to test for his readiness to enter kindegarten.
Matt, his stepmother and I all went to hear the good news. I had no doubt that he would be totally ready to go to kindegarten. It turns out, it is a little more complicated than that.
They showed us the test results and it turns out that his particular results showed that he was a little different from most kids. Most kids score at a consistent age level in all areas of the test. Mine, however, scored at a 5 1/2 age in multiple categories, (he was 4 and 3/4 when he took the test) 5 in some, 4 1/2 in a couple and 4 on one area of the test. Initially the principal told us that this kind of result on a test makes them question the child’s readiness for kindegarten. Needless to say, I was a little shocked. I have always viewed him as a fairly bright child and couldn’t believe that they would suggest he might be held back for any reason.
Luckily, his current teacher stepped in with her own personal evaluation. It seems that he is considered a self-motivated learner. Meaning, he is quick to learn things as long as he has an interest in them. He hasn’t had an interest in writing or drawing until recently. Now that he does have an interest, he is quickly making up for lost time. His current teacher used the word “gifted” a couple of times, which is nice to hear on the one hand, but scary to hear such a label placed on him on the other. She let us know that she feels he is ready and the kindegarten teacher and principal agreed with her evaluation.
His teacher related a story that he wanted to build a church out of blocks based on a picture he had found in a book. He insisted on having different blocks to use to copy the arches and different architectural characteristics of the church in the picture. She told us that he built the windows and the spacing between the windows very meticulously. Apparently, he worked on this project for three hours throughout the day. She let us know that in her experience, it is very rare for a student of his age to spend this much time on a project or to pay that much attention to detail. I was left a little speechless.
We all left with a much better understanding of his strengths and weaknesses and we all have agreed that this school will be a great place for him to attend kindegarten next year.
Sometimes it amazes me how hard parenting is and yet how rewarding it can be.