full grown

This is so totally disgusting. I am definitely going to have nightmares about this for a long time.

And I thought Matt’s apartment was bad.

This is news???
They spent money on this crap???? Ask any woman who isn’t Kate Moss if they like to see their imperfections in motion and they will scream at you a resounding no while clutching to a Snickers bar. (Was that dramatic enough?)

The worst gym experience I ever had was when I was working out on the treadmill, sweating profusely and in walks my high school dream date, Spencer Green. He was a football jock, Honor Roll Society member and really, really cute. I was never a member of the “in” crowd so I never had the nerve to ask him out in high school when I was skinny.(Damnit)

So he walks in, sees me, flashes me that winning jock like smile and says, “Hey! Nice to see you here…what has it been? 7 Years?”

I reel in horror thinking, “Ya, 7 years and 60 pounds.” I manage to squeak out, “Ya, I’m just trying to get in shape for our reunion. Good seeing you though.”

Horrors.

Maybe it’s because I’m experiencing PMS, or the winds have shifted, or because men exist, but lately I am just downright annoyed!

Here is my list for the week. Feel free to add yours in the comment. After all misery loves company.

1. When someone calls you for information and makes you wait while they find a pen.

2. When someone calls you and then asks if they can put you on hold.

3. When someone in the express lane wants to make idle chatter with the cashier and asks numerous questions on how to fill out their check. (What’s the date? What was the amount again?)

4. When you have PMS and your boyfriend is on the freakin’ Atkins diet so you can’t have any freakin’ dessert.

5. Slow talkers.

6. Slow talkers who leave long messages on your voice mail only to rush so fast through their phone number that you have to listen to their dribble 20 times to get the number to calll the idiot back.

7. Men who don’t know how to change their tires.

8. Men who try to talk football when they know nothing about it.

Ok…I’ve bitched enough. Please add.