full grown

I saw a bumper sticker that made me smile today.

“Lord, help me to be the person my dog sees me as.”

Amen!

I weighed in yesterday and was relieved to find that I had only gained 2 pounds. That’s totally ok by me, since I have not worked out or followed my diet in nearly three weeks.

Now, the challenge is to get back on track. So far, I haven’t had any motivation to do so, but I know I have to.

I hate to be typical, but I feel I am going to get back on track on Monday.

Ugh, I need help.

Maybe not really. But today it felt like I had aged beyond my years. I dropped my son off at school, went to the tailor, went home and organized some work stuff, went to the doctor and went to a hair appointment.

Do you think that was what Mrs. Cleaver did every day?

If so, shoot me now.

Things are not going so well with the diet. I guess if I were to consider all that I am going through with full time training and having to depart from the rigorous workout schedule, then, I’m not doing too awful.

The problem is that I was doing so well and being so successful that this stall in progress feels very much like failure.

I’m mostly writing this to place some perspective on the situation. The facts are that I am not totally on program, but most days this week I ate under 2000 calories a day. I did go to an hour of water aerobics twice this week. I didn’t stay as hydrated as usual and didn’t take my multivitamin but once.

If I look at this objectively, I would have to say, while, I am not doing nearly as well as I have in the past couple of months, I am still doing way better than I had prior to starting this diet, regardless of what the scale says.

I’d like to say that I would do better this week, but the reality is, that I probably won’t, since I am still training full time. I’m not sure how to make it any better so I am trying to assume that I just have to do the best I can even if that isn’t good enough.

Thursday, we had to go to a meeting with my son’s future principal, future kindegarten teacher and his current teacher to discuss an evaluation they had done to test for his readiness to enter kindegarten.

Matt, his stepmother and I all went to hear the good news. I had no doubt that he would be totally ready to go to kindegarten. It turns out, it is a little more complicated than that.

They showed us the test results and it turns out that his particular results showed that he was a little different from most kids. Most kids score at a consistent age level in all areas of the test. Mine, however, scored at a 5 1/2 age in multiple categories, (he was 4 and 3/4 when he took the test) 5 in some, 4 1/2 in a couple and 4 on one area of the test. Initially the principal told us that this kind of result on a test makes them question the child’s readiness for kindegarten. Needless to say, I was a little shocked. I have always viewed him as a fairly bright child and couldn’t believe that they would suggest he might be held back for any reason.

Luckily, his current teacher stepped in with her own personal evaluation. It seems that he is considered a self-motivated learner. Meaning, he is quick to learn things as long as he has an interest in them. He hasn’t had an interest in writing or drawing until recently. Now that he does have an interest, he is quickly making up for lost time. His current teacher used the word “gifted” a couple of times, which is nice to hear on the one hand, but scary to hear such a label placed on him on the other. She let us know that she feels he is ready and the kindegarten teacher and principal agreed with her evaluation.

His teacher related a story that he wanted to build a church out of blocks based on a picture he had found in a book. He insisted on having different blocks to use to copy the arches and different architectural characteristics of the church in the picture. She told us that he built the windows and the spacing between the windows very meticulously. Apparently, he worked on this project for three hours throughout the day. She let us know that in her experience, it is very rare for a student of his age to spend this much time on a project or to pay that much attention to detail. I was left a little speechless.

We all left with a much better understanding of his strengths and weaknesses and we all have agreed that this school will be a great place for him to attend kindegarten next year.

Sometimes it amazes me how hard parenting is and yet how rewarding it can be.

Last Sunday was a day of nothing but football and of course, Super Bowl worthy fare. (think various chips and various dips)

Anyone who knows me, knows I love the Steelers and I was really excited to watch the game and finally have a Super Bowl that I cared about. Needless to say, this Super Bowl sucked. Poor game calling, poor officiatiing and just generally bad playing on the field made it a lackluster win for us. So, while I am glad to say the Steelers won, sort of, I am not all that proud of it.

The rest of the week was centered around starting my new job. The first day was orientation. Mind numbing presentations on HR stuff, company rah rah crap and lots of paperwork. Luckily, the orientation was close to where Matt works, so we were able to have lunch together for a much needed break.

The rest of the week was focused on learning their systems and procedures. I had no idea all the steps required by the teller just to cash a check! I have to admit, I am a bit overwhelmed by all that we have to know to do the job.

One of the details I learned early in the week was that most of the teller stations in the company don’t have stools or anything to sit on. I had been really hoping that they would, since I have such a hard time with my darned feet anyhow, and standing all day would be murder. So, after a good cry, I decided to start investigating my options. I came upon this website. I made an appointment to be seen on Thursday evening. The proprietor handled my appointment and was a really friendly, helpful man. Even with that, it was a painful experience. I knew going in that orthotic shoes aren’t really cute or trendy and my knowledge was quickly confirmed. He evaluated my feet and told my that my feet are extremely flexible and over pronate. My being overweight also compounds this problem and makes finding the proper shoe with plenty of support and the right volume hard to do. I finally decided on a dowdy pair of orthotic looking mary janes in black and nubuck brown. The final step was to custom fit me for orthotic insoles. He had me place each foot in a machine and this machine makes a topographic map of my foot. This allows him to see where the insoles need to provide the most support. The whole ordeal cost upwards of $500 and left me feeling like a total loser but with hope that I won’t be in terrible pain every day.

Friday was really interesting because we had to go to our sponsor branch in the morning and shadow a teller and write down whether or not they were following procedure. Procedure even includes how many times they use the client’s name and whether or not they said some sales line when ending the transaction. They call it a tag line, I call it annoying. It really stresses me out that I am going to have to pitch something to every customer. I’m just not the type. Ack.

Friday afternoon was the Corporate Security presentation. In other words, “Let’s Scare the Crap out of You.” She talked to us about robbery, hostage and bomb threat procedures. Sounds like it’s not if you get robbed, but when. Next she covered all the ways in which banks are being scammed. This was almost more scary than the robbery stuff because it is our job as tellers to spot scams and stop them. It makes you feel like you have to view every person coming in the door as a potential criminal. Not fun.

Saturday, I turned to house cleaning as stress therapy and due to motivation by the fact that we were having dinner guests. Even the baseboards got scrubbed!

We had some new friends over and I made a new lasagne recipe out of Cooking Light. Everything was a success. The food was great, the conversation was light and easy and our boys got along too. They had a ball playing in the basement and watching movies and the adults had a couple of drinks and enjoyed each other’s company. It was really a nice evening. I love to entertain and it was something I haven’t done in awhile.

Today we have been doing laundry and took a break to go see “Curious George”. It was such a cute movie!! I didn’t have very high expectations for it, but it turned out to be a really fun movie for all of us. I’m going to seem old fashioned here, but a lot of the cartoons that come out these days seem to have an edge that crosses the line a little when it comes to appropriateness for young children. This edge makes it more appealing for adults to watch, but also makes me sometimes uncomfortable to let my son watch. This movie had none of that. Just a truly enjoyable, wholesome movie.

Yesterday was one of those truly great days. I had one of those rare opportunities to fall in love all over again.

I had to return some clothes and buy different ones as my job requires business attire. Matt went with me and patiently waited in line with me for the returns, gave helpful opinions on the new outfits and then went on the impossible journey to find brown dress shoes.

Why impossible? I wear a size 11. Well, I probably wear a size 10 1/2, but they don’t make that size, ever. Every store was the same. JC Penney, Nine West, Easy Spirit, Foleys and Off Broadway. They all didn’t carry an 11 in anything cute and then the “helpful” sales person would bring a black pair or a really ugly brown pair with a sort of pained look on their face.

Finally, we went to Famous Footwear where they had three pairs in a size 11 and a couple in a 10W which sometimes works. A couple of pairs fit, but just didn’t feel right. My feet hurt and I was really starting to feel beaten down. I just wanted a comfortable brown dress shoe. I made one last desparate pass around the store and happened upon a pair that were really cute and they had a 10. I sighed and thought, “what the hell” and tried them on. They actually fit and were relatively comfortable. Natt was patient through the whole ordeal, being encouraging and wonderful.

We then went Super Bowl food shopping and then went home and ordered some pizza.

Here’s the blissful part. I needed to put some laundry away and Matt volunteered to help me. We listened to some Whiskey Town and got everything put away and then sort of crashed on the bed and just listened to the music. He held me close and everything just melted away. I was in absolute heaven. Next we played Death Cab for Cutie and the bliss contined. It was like the glow of dating all over again, when just spending time with the one you adore, just listening to great music is the only thing in the world and happiness just pours out of you. I fell in love with him all over again, laying there, warm in his arms.

It truly was a great day.