full grown

Need an easy way, or just any way out? Here’s a fun little place to go to tell the jerk to get lost!

I am pretty poor and have been looking for a second job. They aren’t easy to come by and I really don’t want to work 24/7 so I have been looking for a job that pays more than minimum wage and one where my hours can be pretty flexible.

Looky what I found….

I am sooooo holding my breath that Matt gets this job he is interviewing for. If he doesn’t I am afraid he might go where the IT jobs are more plentiful, and damnit, I am just starting to get sweet on him.
Go by here and wish him luck.

This is so totally disgusting. I am definitely going to have nightmares about this for a long time.

And I thought Matt’s apartment was bad.

This is news???
They spent money on this crap???? Ask any woman who isn’t Kate Moss if they like to see their imperfections in motion and they will scream at you a resounding no while clutching to a Snickers bar. (Was that dramatic enough?)

The worst gym experience I ever had was when I was working out on the treadmill, sweating profusely and in walks my high school dream date, Spencer Green. He was a football jock, Honor Roll Society member and really, really cute. I was never a member of the “in” crowd so I never had the nerve to ask him out in high school when I was skinny.(Damnit)

So he walks in, sees me, flashes me that winning jock like smile and says, “Hey! Nice to see you here…what has it been? 7 Years?”

I reel in horror thinking, “Ya, 7 years and 60 pounds.” I manage to squeak out, “Ya, I’m just trying to get in shape for our reunion. Good seeing you though.”

Horrors.

Maybe it’s because I’m experiencing PMS, or the winds have shifted, or because men exist, but lately I am just downright annoyed!

Here is my list for the week. Feel free to add yours in the comment. After all misery loves company.

1. When someone calls you for information and makes you wait while they find a pen.

2. When someone calls you and then asks if they can put you on hold.

3. When someone in the express lane wants to make idle chatter with the cashier and asks numerous questions on how to fill out their check. (What’s the date? What was the amount again?)

4. When you have PMS and your boyfriend is on the freakin’ Atkins diet so you can’t have any freakin’ dessert.

5. Slow talkers.

6. Slow talkers who leave long messages on your voice mail only to rush so fast through their phone number that you have to listen to their dribble 20 times to get the number to calll the idiot back.

7. Men who don’t know how to change their tires.

8. Men who try to talk football when they know nothing about it.

Ok…I’ve bitched enough. Please add.

I’m afraid I’ve broken all the rules on this one.

Here’s the skinny on the woman who is writing this crap.

I am a Colorado native. I grew up on the eastern plains in a small town with conservative parents and a humble upbringing. I now reside in Denver. I love Colorado and would love to have a mountain home someday.

I am a 30 year old mom of a toddler. That will be explanation for any of the time I ramble or make no sense.

I love God, America and dessert. (Read Lutheran, wildly patriotic Republican, chunky woman.)

I hate my job. I’m thankful for my job, I just dislike what I do. I was a vocal jazz, nursing, English and journalism major at one time or another in college. Needless to say, processing payments for a dental plan is not my idea of fulfillment.

Anything else you would like to know? Ask away. I have been known to be an open book.

Here I am, writing my own blog at the urging of my blogfather, Matt Moore. (Truth be told, he is also my ‘boyfriend’.)

So here is what you can expect to find in the future on this blog.

1. News commentary. There is nothing more tragic, more funny or more weird than actual happenings produced by good old human beings.

2. Personal Happenings. My life as a mom, a disgruntled accounts receivable clerk, my love life, my thoughts on God and the universe, the occasional wild moments that I might experience with a friend, and my ongoing battle of the bulge.

3. Miscellaneous musings. My thoughts on movies, books, (if I ever get the time to read one, music and whatever else.

Enjoy and comment, comment, comment!!!!